Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Senryu and Haiku

Senryu

this delicate skin
housing organ blood bone soul
a wilderness tent

Haiku

the snow falls in piles
floating on the frozen ground
like little white ghosts



Tuesday night means dVerse OpenLinkNight. It's actually Wed. morning, but there's still some time to write a poem, send it in, and join in the friendship of fellow poets. 
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32 comments:

  1. MaryJuly 24, 2013 at 7:01 AM

    Enjoyed your senyru...'a wilderness tent' indeed.

    And as for your haiku, yikes....thinking of snow right now gives me brain freeze. LOL.

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 12:07 PM

      Thanks Mary--we're burning up here in south GA (today is overcast but still hot as blazes), so I thought a little chill in my poem would be refreshing.

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  2. Gemma WisemanJuly 24, 2013 at 7:04 AM

    Powerful closure to the senryu and love the lilting "l" sound in your haiku!

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 12:09 PM

      Thanks Gemma, I'm happy you enjoyed them.

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  3. Brian MillerJuly 24, 2013 at 7:16 AM

    ok, i would not mind a bit of the snow...ha...its smoking hot here....of course, i will want the heat then so...ha, wilderness tent is an inspired line...like that first one...

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 12:14 PM

      Thanks Brian--not sure about inspired, but I did have in mind the Israelites sojourning in the desert when I wrote it!

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  4. Laurie KolpJuly 24, 2013 at 7:57 AM

    I enjoyed both of them, Nico... the second is my favorite, though.

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  5. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    These are both very wintry poems in a way - the wilderness tent is a breathtaking image - the second is just beautiful. k.

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 12:27 PM

      Thanks Karin--any hint of winter is welcome right now.

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  6. ClaudiaJuly 24, 2013 at 12:40 PM

    smiles..it's scorching hot and you write snow...ha...i wouldn't mind a few flakes honestly...love the wilderness tent..

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM

      Thanks Claudia--we don't get snow here, so I only experience it in word and image!

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  7. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    I love it that you're counter-seasonal...at least for us living in summer climes. But what I enjoy most is your delicate use of those wonderful Japanese forms.

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 10:00 PM

      Thanks Victoria--counter-seasonal writing can yield interesting results.

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  8. Katie Mia FrederickJuly 24, 2013 at 7:43 PM

    The ghosts of babies

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 10:03 PM

      Thanks Kate--that theory would make a good poem!

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  9. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 8:02 PM

    I'm rather enjoying the imagery of the two combined, wintry, ghosts, blood, bones and soul--nice! ~peace, Jason

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 10:04 PM

      Thanks Jason--I intended to post them separately, but you're right. They strangely seem to go together.

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  10. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 8:48 PM

    "Wilderness tent" - love that.

    And the winter poem is awesome.

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 10:09 PM

      Thanks Sky--the winter poem went through a lot of editing, little tweeks here and there. I should have done what you did with yours, post all of the variations and let the readers decide!

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  11. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    Loved both...wilderness tent just fantastic.

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  12. flaubertJuly 24, 2013 at 9:49 PM

    I echo the others, nico, wilderness tent is marvelous. Both are quite lovely.

    Pamela

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    1. JeffJuly 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM

      Thanks Pamela--that seems to be the favorite phrase!

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  13. rallentandaJuly 24, 2013 at 10:14 PM

    Now I think you caught that haiku bug from me:) Warning: you will become addicted!:)

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  14. Arron ShillingJuly 24, 2013 at 10:51 PM


    hey Nico

    these forms are so smart and really do have something special inside their structure don't they? it is a mystery to me but it must have something to do with balance and harmony which is why I cant write them but adore the reading of them when executed in such a way thet allows me to relate:

    this delicate skin

    housing organ blood bone soul

    a wilderness tent

    is
    quite perfect
    imho

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    1. JeffJuly 25, 2013 at 10:56 AM

      Thanks Arron--I'm happy you could relate!

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  15. Linda RogersJuly 24, 2013 at 11:26 PM

    Really nice Senryu and Haiku. Great imagery in the pieces.

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    1. JeffJuly 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM

      Thanks Linda--I've not written much poetry in these forms, but I'm really learning to love them. In many ways, they are perfectly suited to my approach to poetry and life.

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  16. AnonymousJuly 26, 2013 at 1:16 PM

    concise, precise images, fine writing!

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  17. AnonymousJuly 28, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    adore both senryu and haiku...especially the comparison of snow to little white ghosts.

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