as you sit
elegant
in the soft lampglow
i notice
careful shoulders
sloped away
no telling word
hurdles the pearls
pulled tight
on dimpled neck
-------------------------------------
I know, this is very late. I've been slack about writing new poetry. Laziness plays a big role. Not felt well the last few weeks, some kind of tummy virus, which did give me poopertunity to make some new doo-doo jokes but otherwise left me uninspired. Anyway, last night Sam Peralta hosted the dVerse FormForAll, prompting us to try our hand at writing Twitter poetry--that is, poetry that fits within the character limits imposed by Twitter. I thought, Surely I can write a poem of 140 characters despite illness and laziness and lack of inspiration and all the other enemies of creativity. So here it is, exactly 140 characters (using creative spacing for a few characters). I also tried to channel my inner Wallace Stevens, in memory of the anniversary of his death today. The title is not actually part of the 140 character limit. If that troubles you, just pretend it's not there.
this has the feel of a slow and careful painting and really like how you capture the scene
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia--actually, I wrote the lines "careful shoulders sloped away" some weeks ago after looking at a painting, but I can't remember where I saw it or what it was called!
DeleteVery soft and tender voice you talk in your poetry
ReplyDeleteThanks Bjorn, we need more soft and tender in this world.
DeleteWallace would be proud of you. Frost told him, you just write about (I forget the exact words) frick-a-frack. Stevens countered, and you just write about themes. I'll have to get the exact quote.
ReplyDeleteThanks Victoria--great story. I think there's value in both styles.
Deletethis was lovely..a string of pearls..hope you feel better :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Truedessa--a little better today.
DeleteElegant writing, I'd say. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks HA!
DeleteI'm glad you took your time-- you pulled out a wonderful poem. ~peace, Jason
ReplyDeleteThanks Jason--at some point I'm going to have to quit making excuses and start being more productive. Maybe tomorrow . . .
DeleteA lovely image... and hope you're feeling better. I've been under the weather, too (sore throat).
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie, yes, a little better. I hope you recover soon!
DeleteThat's very beautiful - and I do hope you are feeling better soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rosemary, for your kind words.
Deleteyou did quite well with the limitations...evocative in the tiny details you notice of her sitting there....think as well that he would be proud of the honor paid his death...smiles
ReplyDeletesorry i am late getting here...on vacation...and just getting the fam to bed...ha..hope you feel better soon as well...
Thanks Brian--enjoy your vacation!
DeleteSweet and intimate. Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks grape, I appreciate the kind thoughts.
DeleteConcise, but fully descriptive. I hope you're all better soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rowan, I'm feeling better today.
DeleteReally lovely, a quiet voice. Hope you're feeling better. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Di, for your kindness.
DeleteThere's something subtle and peaceful about the tableau you draw in your words' muted charcoal, like evening shadows gently blurring the edges of the scene.
ReplyDelete...that saddens me for a while... how painful feelings to draw in between words... and oh, no more poopertunities, ok?! drop 'em all in a single flush... hihi... be well... smiles...
ReplyDeleteI think you channeled W.Stevens well. Joy Jones does a lot of that (Hedge_witch). You make it seem easy; but getting that inner landscape by exposing the outer one is difficult to convey. You managed it here deftly and I might say a good bit more economically that Stevens usually does.
ReplyDelete