Thursday, September 26, 2013

when my time comes

when my time comes

these days I rarely
have a prayer to say

but one in my
stumbling way

to whatever
listening gods


when my time comes
let me be as the trees

releasing browning leaves
letting them tumble

gently down

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Goodness. It's been a while. Tonight for dVerse Meeting the Bar, Victoria Slotto has tempted us to write a spicy, erotic, or touchy-subject poem (death, religion, politics, hot-button issues) using metaphor and image to elaborate the point. Of course I chose to write about death, a touchy subject for some people, with a little religion thrown in for good measure.
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40 comments:

  1. brudbergSeptember 26, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    Hi Nico.. and wonderful to see your here at the bar again.. yes without a religion... it's not a bad thing to be like the tree... love the sparseness of your words still giving a full picture.

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:21 AM

      Thanks Bjorn--my time has been very limited the past few weeks, so I'm happy to have been able to participate this week. I think trees have many lessons for us.

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  2. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 4:38 PM

    A very nice read. >KB

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  3. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    good to read you again, Nico. Yep, a fun grim bunch are we :) ~M

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:25 AM

      Thanks M--I'm not sure what that says about us, that when given the choice to write about sex or death, we chose death. (Actually, you kind of blended a little of both in yours!)

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  4. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 4:59 PM

    I love the tree image, Nico. That letting go. For many of us, nature teaches us, weaves her way into our belief systems. This works well.

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:27 AM

      Thanks Victoria--my own feeling is that the farther from nature our religion takes us, the farther from the truth it becomes. That letting go is a tough lesson to learn.

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  5. Kathryn DycheSeptember 26, 2013 at 5:10 PM

    "let me be as a trees" . . . love that.

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  6. MarySeptember 26, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    I like your thoughts, Nico!!

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  7. Laurie KolpSeptember 26, 2013 at 5:37 PM

    To be like the trees... lovely, Nico. You've been missed, by the way!

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:32 AM

      Thanks Laurie--I've missed y'all too. I have been writing a little, but no time or energy to post and comment. That's life!

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  8. Brian MillerSeptember 26, 2013 at 5:45 PM

    nice...def a prayer i want to always echo...let me be willing to let go...release the things that i need to...i think there is much we can learn from trees actually....nicely done sir...

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:34 AM

      Thanks Brian--funny how we're often looking for some wise sage to give us the way to a better existence, and the teacher we need is standing right there.

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  9. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    This poem of yours is powerful! and wow!!!

    I like your use of metaphors in this poetic format. :)

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  10. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 7:22 PM

    Aaah, Nico, nice, definitely... I did one about leaves accepting their fall yesterday: http://maryazilberberg.wordpress.com/2013/09/25/launch-down/

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:35 AM

      Thanks Marya--I enjoyed your falling leaves poem as well!

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  11. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 7:35 PM

    That is beautiful... a prayer from the heart. So well-written.

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  12. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 7:37 PM

    Steady and powerful! Got them digested

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  13. TruedessaSeptember 26, 2013 at 11:39 PM

    Hi Nico,

    It's been a while since I've read your work. I like the image of the tree..

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    1. JeffSeptember 27, 2013 at 8:38 AM

      Thanks Truedessa--It's been a good while since I've posted. I'm happy people are still willing to stop in and read.

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  14. AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 4:19 AM

    It's a nice thought to be like the trees and leaf gently tumbling down...love this!

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  15. AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    Trees really do just quietly go...
    where I do not know...
    I like the simplicity here and peaceful poem.

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  16. Mystic_MomSeptember 27, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    This is seemingly simple and yet complex. Well done! Glad to see you at the pub.

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    1. JeffSeptember 28, 2013 at 12:56 PM

      Thanks Shanyn, it was really nice to be back!

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  17. AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 6:42 PM

    Hey Nico-- a very sober but beautiful wish. K.

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    1. JeffSeptember 28, 2013 at 12:58 PM

      Thanks Karin--there are definitely worse ways to go!

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  18. rallentandaSeptember 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    The all pervasive gentleness of Nico whose death will be tumbling leaves in the breeze. Beautiful.
    Don't stay away so long!

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  19. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2013 at 1:24 AM

    beautiful, beautiful, Nico.

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  20. Chris LawrenceSeptember 28, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    We have to draw ourselves closer to nature and communicate with the lost part of ourselves, Nico i loved this great to read

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