Knowledgeable poet Gay Reiser Cannon, host of tonight's FormForAll at dVerse, has invited us to try our hand at writing a quatern. Both rhyme and meter play a role in this form--I kept pretty close to exactness, but there are a few slight metrical replacements along the way. This was super fun--it's amazing how much can be learned by adhering to a form. Anyway, in the spirit of the end of the world predicted for this month . . .
A Prayer
Before the End
All former things will pass away—
A ball of flame; forgetfulness.
At any rate, the wise seers say
A bang or whimper ends it all.
Some dream of walking golden streets
When former things will pass away,
No loss or pain will enter there
And night will fade to lasting day.
If I may ask for a delay
There’re things I’d like to do before
All former things will pass away.
I want to plant my spring garden,
Enjoy a walk beside the creek,
And watch the kids go out to play.
I’ll turn the lights out when I leave
When former things will pass away.
ha. would be nice to pick our own time...and be able to cut the lights out ourselves when we are done...i would like to think you will be fine through the end of the year...i bought the mayans a new calendar...smiles...nicely done to form...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian--well, if I can't pick my own time, then I'll just continue to do what I do. That's the best way I think.
Deletegreat lines there, nico. we won't know until we get there i guess... loved the third stanza!
ReplyDeleteThanks Miriam--funny, that third stanza was the hardest to come by!
DeleteI want to plant the spring garden too ~ Nice work on the form and rhyming words ~ I pray it comes in a whimper so we can all have a good laugh about it ~
ReplyDeleteThank you Grace--didn't have the time to plant this past spring. A whimper--I lifted this from Eliot's "The Hollow Men":
DeleteThis is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
I like this, Nico. Yes, I think we need to keep on doing what we need to do. Every spring, plant a garden. I like that attitude and way of life. I enjoyed this poem very much.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary. It seems the best way to me.
DeleteHow apropos while we're hearing once again these "doomsday" predictions. I think your poem is full of the sweetest human yearnings, to see things grow, to enjoy your children. Lovely use of the form!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gay--whatever heaven turns out to be, I don't think I'll like it much unless it strongly resembles the things I love here. Great choice for the prompt, thanks much!
ReplyDeleteThis may be presumptuous but I do not think the world will end this month. I have received nothing in the mail from my direct line to God:)
ReplyDeleteNice use of the form. There is a gentleness that runs through all your poetry which is very pleasing..a reasoned equilibrium and peace, that no matter how old I get to be, I am sure, I will never possess.
I can't argue with a direct God-line, now can I? Thanks Cress, for appreciating the gentleness I try to incorporate into my work--it's damned hard work, so that is as fine a compliment as I could wish for.
DeleteIf we started with a big bang why not go out with a big bang, right? No, I don't think we're going anywhere this month but I thoroughly enjoyed your write on our impending doom. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bodhi--too many gloom and doomers spend more time preparing for the world's end and forget to live now. That, to me, is a sad thing.
Deleteturning the lights out ourselves when we leave would be cool...going when we're ready...but would we ever be..? i like this nico..good job on the form as well..
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia--I can only hope that at the end of each day I'll have lived in such a way that turning out the lights would not bring regrets.
DeleteOh wow, this was really good. Love the way you ended it with such simple pleasures and last minute indulgences. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, AJ. The simple pleasures are the best.
DeleteI will let this poem say to me that the heavens contrived by religions sound drab and undesirable compared to even the simple pleasures of here and now.
ReplyDeleteA good reason to shoot for heaven on earth and not in the sky. No matter how tempting the comfort of something better later.
Thanks Sabio--I've always thought that if a place in the Great Hereafter without pain and suffering sounds good to people, why don't we strive for that now, here, each day?
DeleteHave you ever read Mark Twain's short story, "Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven"? I think you'd get a kick out of it.
This is super charming. I love the quick switch from the grandiose to the dearly plebian - very lovely - in the last stanza. k.
ReplyDeleteThanks Karin--I'm happy the change in tone was not too jarring.
DeleteForm works so well for your theme and how you've expressed it - unforced and totally natural.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Becky, I appreciate your kindness.
DeleteNicely done! Very smooth.
ReplyDeleteThanks MZ!
Delete...i think your Quatern is the truth... full of contentment rather than anticipation on things not yet existing or happening... as you said all former things will pass away, this is indeed really true and if all just accept it and believe in it noone will ever be a victim of deception... a perfect voice to go with the form.. smiles..
ReplyDeleteThank you Kelvin--there's so much good to be had in the ordinary things of life.
DeleteA 'timely' quartern...like the effect of the refrain very much!
ReplyDeleteThanks Katy--I'll be glad when this is all over and the cable channels stop showing so many end-of-the-world "documentaries."
DeleteOh to have the balls to tell death: "Sod off, I'm busy. Come back next week! Oh, and while you're waiting, cut my lawn."
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks Cosmo. Death may not cut my lawn, but that's why I have kids.
DeleteI think most people feel that way...that they want just a little more time. there are always more simple pleasures to be had, though planting a garden wouldn't be on my list, the walk sound devine and the kids–I could watch them for an eternity.
ReplyDeleteThanks RMP--the work of gardening isn't for everyone I guess, but there are plenty of ways to get the most out of each day. I think of that quote from Emerson, one of my favorites: "I wish the days to be as centuries, loaded, fragrant." (From memory, so it may not be exact. You get the drift.)
DeleteThis is so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you Raajii, I'm happy you think so!
Delete