Friday, August 2, 2013

The Last Meal


as you sit
elegant
in the soft lampglow
i notice
careful shoulders
              sloped away
no telling word
hurdles the pearls
pulled tight
on dimpled neck

-------------------------------------

I know, this is very late. I've been slack about writing new poetry. Laziness plays a big role. Not felt well the last few weeks, some kind of tummy virus, which did give me poopertunity to make some new doo-doo jokes but otherwise left me uninspired. Anyway, last night Sam Peralta hosted the dVerse FormForAll, prompting us to try our hand at writing Twitter poetry--that is, poetry that fits within the character limits imposed by Twitter. I thought, Surely I can write a poem of 140 characters despite illness and laziness and lack of inspiration and all the other enemies of creativity. So here it is, exactly 140 characters (using creative spacing for a few characters). I also tried to channel my inner Wallace Stevens, in memory of the anniversary of his death today. The title is not actually part of the 140 character limit. If that troubles you, just pretend it's not there.

27 comments:

  1. this has the feel of a slow and careful painting and really like how you capture the scene

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Claudia--actually, I wrote the lines "careful shoulders sloped away" some weeks ago after looking at a painting, but I can't remember where I saw it or what it was called!

      Delete
  2. Very soft and tender voice you talk in your poetry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Bjorn, we need more soft and tender in this world.

      Delete
  3. Wallace would be proud of you. Frost told him, you just write about (I forget the exact words) frick-a-frack. Stevens countered, and you just write about themes. I'll have to get the exact quote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Victoria--great story. I think there's value in both styles.

      Delete
  4. this was lovely..a string of pearls..hope you feel better :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Truedessa--a little better today.

      Delete
  5. I'm glad you took your time-- you pulled out a wonderful poem. ~peace, Jason

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jason--at some point I'm going to have to quit making excuses and start being more productive. Maybe tomorrow . . .

      Delete
  6. A lovely image... and hope you're feeling better. I've been under the weather, too (sore throat).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Laurie, yes, a little better. I hope you recover soon!

      Delete
  7. That's very beautiful - and I do hope you are feeling better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Rosemary, for your kind words.

      Delete
  8. you did quite well with the limitations...evocative in the tiny details you notice of her sitting there....think as well that he would be proud of the honor paid his death...smiles

    sorry i am late getting here...on vacation...and just getting the fam to bed...ha..hope you feel better soon as well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Brian--enjoy your vacation!

      Delete
  9. Sweet and intimate. Hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks grape, I appreciate the kind thoughts.

      Delete
  10. Concise, but fully descriptive. I hope you're all better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Rowan, I'm feeling better today.

      Delete
  11. Really lovely, a quiet voice. Hope you're feeling better. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. There's something subtle and peaceful about the tableau you draw in your words' muted charcoal, like evening shadows gently blurring the edges of the scene.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ...that saddens me for a while... how painful feelings to draw in between words... and oh, no more poopertunities, ok?! drop 'em all in a single flush... hihi... be well... smiles...

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think you channeled W.Stevens well. Joy Jones does a lot of that (Hedge_witch). You make it seem easy; but getting that inner landscape by exposing the outer one is difficult to convey. You managed it here deftly and I might say a good bit more economically that Stevens usually does.

    ReplyDelete