Thursday, October 31, 2013

Lonely Night

Lonely Night

“My solitary watch I keep,”

Bill Monroe sings high lonesome.

“So fare-thee-well I’d rather make
My home upon some icy lake
Where the southern sun refused to shine
Than to trust a love so false as thine.”

**

a pile of yellow
toenail clippings

thought I threw
those things

out

with the nonchalance
of god

**

Yet, why be so theatrical
in your desolation.

In this way
the floor
speaks to me.

I think it means

.

and I think it is
the floor

**

            Castaneda asks, What is going to happen now, don Juan?
            Nothing. You won your soul back. It was a good battle.
            You learned many things last night.

**
(So perhaps that’s where it stands.)

------------------------------------------------ 

Anna Chamberlain has us going to the edge of meaning and sanity for tonight’s dVerse prompt. Well, anyway, that’s how it seemed to me, as we discovered a variety of experimental poetry techniques. Take the time to read the article—Anna did a great service in providing all the information, and there’s really no good way to summarize it here.

I tried to write spontaneously, piecing together many disparate, jarring sources and images in service of a single theme; however, I think there may be more flow, or at least more noticeable meaning, than one would expect to find in experimental poetry. I couldn’t help it. Hopefully there is enough here to make it fit the prompt. (The quotations are from Bill Monroe’s song “Midnight on the Stormy Deep” and Carlos Castaneda’s book The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge.)


22 comments:

  1. ha. the toenails....and linking that to the nonchalance of god...nice...so theatrical in your desolation...some really strong elements in this nico...the last couple lines, earning your soul back...the author and his book...interesting patchwork in this...

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    1. Thanks Brian--when the prompt came through I was listening to the Monroe song, and things just snowballed from there.

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  2. Creative write indeed Nico ~ Specially like: why be so theatrical/ in your desolation.

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    1. Thanks Grace--that phrase sounds like something the floor would say, doesn't it?

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  3. Looked like a scene from a drama... shifting images, understandable theme and very creative.
    I certainly liked it very much. :-)
    -HA

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    1. Thanks HA--the last few weeks I've been exploring the way an agitated mind works (some from detached observation, some from personal experiences, unfortunately). It has led to some unusual poetry, from me anyway.

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  4. Kind of a summary of a Shakespeare play, yes? Playthings to the Gods and all. Just joking. But there is a story here and I like it a lot--even the lone period sitting there.

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    1. Thanks Susan--this has been my "Year of Shakespeare"--I've been working my way through the plays and sonnets all year long. I think it has had a subconscious effect on my own work.

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  5. dang - the yellow toenail clippings... very cool mix in of emotions into this one... gives them the snippets the red thread to follow through

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    1. Thanks Claudia--not sure why the toenail clippings seemed the most appropriate image for piercing loneliness to me. Weird, huh?

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  6. Yes imaginations can go wild...the floor speaking hmmm what floor boards could tell us! Very interesting indeed!

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    1. Thanks Di--the floor knows all the inner secrets.

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  7. Loved winning yoursoul back. Loved Carlo. >KB

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    1. Thanks KB--if one can manage to win back his or her soul, it is always the best part.

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  8. Why be so theatrical in your desolation ... great line! :)

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    1. Thanks Loredana--that line came from my first attempt at this experimental prompt. I scraped everything but this line, which seemed to fit what a floor would say!

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    2. "scraped," of course, should be scrapped. It's never a good thing to drop your second "p."

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    1. Thanks Shanyn, I'm glad you liked it!

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  10. Interesting juxtapositions, images--works as chance poetry. Good job.

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  11. There are some powerful lines in this, the flow like stream of consciousness, yet more directed. I don't think we can divorce ourselves from sense and meaning, it is the natural tendency of our minds. However, it can be good to stretch those boundaries a bit and hopefully let in some air. Thanks so much for joining us!

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  12. Nico, I like the change in POV and the uncertainty. And the toe nail clippings :) ~

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