Tonight at dVerse, the marvelous poet Samuel Peralta has challenged us to write either a Kelly lune or Collom lune. I chose the latter, in a two stanza form. The form is similar to haiku; however, instead of syllable count, words are counted (lines of 3-5-3). The subject is inspired by the gentle rain falling outside. Please join in--it is a fairly simple form to work with, yet it can yield powerful results. (edited to fix the spelling of Jack Collom's name!)
the raindrop
falls
from the tip
of the
magnolia leaf
bearing
the
reflected world
falls and
breaks into a
thousand tiny
worlds
oh i like the image..the reflected world falling and breaking in thousand tiny worlds.. magnolias are my fav trees ..ok ...next to cherry trees...
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia, magnolias are great trees. A little messy, but worth it for the fragrance when in bloom. I would have stepped out to take a picture to go along with the poem, but I might melt in the rain, you know!
DeleteThis is beautiful - the imagery is fabulous.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tony, there's a beautiful melancholy in a gentle rain.
Deletedang...this is really good man...love your imagery in it...the raindrop and then the shattering of the reflective world....very nice...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian--you have to get real close to see the tiny worlds in a drop!
DeleteI love magnolias. This is such a lovely image.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie, I'm rather fond of magnolias as well!
DeleteCool, lovely shattered image, like a thousand little diamonds falling between the blades of grass.
ReplyDeleteNothing but snow
And thousands of diamonds
In the morning glow
Thanks Frank, and thanks for the wonderful poetic response!
DeleteNico, these are great. I can picture them both so well from your well chosen words.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary, there are wonderful things in the smallest drop.
DeleteVery lovely image, I can see the rain falling, breaking into a thousand tiny worlds ~
ReplyDeleteGrace
Thanks Grace, I'm glad you see it too.
Delete... I see the reflections
ReplyDeleteThanks Patricia!
DeleteWonderful images... all those tiny worlds, it's delightful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Di--reflections are strange things, caught between the real and not-real.
DeleteVery pretty - the symmetry of nature - the mitosis of raindrops - quite wonderful. k.
ReplyDeleteThanks Karin--a few weeks ago I read an article about the fellow who discovered (or at least mathematically described) fractals. I think that had some influence on my submission.
Deletewow...and not just because I have a thing for magnolias. such a beautiful image, especially that second lune.
ReplyDeleteThanks RMP--another vote for magnolias!
DeleteLove the second stanza
ReplyDeleteThanks Marousia, I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteThis is absolutely beautiful, I love the way that the first lune stanza pours its words through the caesura onto the second lune stanza, becoming the self-metaphor for the droplet.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam--great prompt!
DeleteExquisite.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cress.
DeleteAnd so the myriad of beings came into existence
ReplyDelete0r so that poem felt like the beginning of an oriental creation myth!
Maybe I'll be ambitious enough to write my own genesis--might sound loony, but with the lune form it could work. Thanks Sabio!
DeleteNico, this is just so damn beautiful! love the choice of your words... especially the 'reflected world'. brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThanks Miriam, I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteAnd I can see it...
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim--that's just what I was hoping for.
Delete...wow, I am impressed with this beauty!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Katy, that means a lot.
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ReplyDeleteOh, this is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. So many worlds in a raindrop...
ReplyDeleteThanks ds--"To see the world in a grain of sand." Blake.
Delete...i felt these... your first lune's a delicate to read but your second one volumes a lot to me of the truth... we're the tiny worlds pressed to form an entirely new world of many differences and tales... an excellent offering... smiles...
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelvin, I really like your interpretation!
DeleteThanks MZ.
ReplyDeletevery nice. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThank you, Fred.
DeleteSmall but powerful, exactly what was meant for the form, I am sure. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dave, a raindrop is small but powerful!
DeleteLovely....
ReplyDeleteThank you atob.
Delete