Thursday, January 3, 2013

Collom Lune: The Raindrop



Tonight at dVerse, the marvelous poet Samuel Peralta has challenged us to write either a Kelly lune or Collom lune. I chose the latter, in a two stanza form. The form is similar to haiku; however, instead of syllable count, words are counted (lines of 3-5-3). The subject is inspired by the gentle rain falling outside. Please join in--it is a fairly simple form to work with, yet it can yield powerful results. (edited to fix the spelling of Jack Collom's name!)



the raindrop falls
from the tip of the
magnolia leaf bearing

the reflected world
falls and breaks into a
thousand tiny worlds

49 comments:

  1. oh i like the image..the reflected world falling and breaking in thousand tiny worlds.. magnolias are my fav trees ..ok ...next to cherry trees...

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    1. Thanks Claudia, magnolias are great trees. A little messy, but worth it for the fragrance when in bloom. I would have stepped out to take a picture to go along with the poem, but I might melt in the rain, you know!

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  2. This is beautiful - the imagery is fabulous.

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    1. Thanks Tony, there's a beautiful melancholy in a gentle rain.

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  3. dang...this is really good man...love your imagery in it...the raindrop and then the shattering of the reflective world....very nice...

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    1. Thanks Brian--you have to get real close to see the tiny worlds in a drop!

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  4. I love magnolias. This is such a lovely image.

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    1. Thanks Laurie, I'm rather fond of magnolias as well!

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  5. Cool, lovely shattered image, like a thousand little diamonds falling between the blades of grass.

    Nothing but snow
    And thousands of diamonds
    In the morning glow

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    1. Thanks Frank, and thanks for the wonderful poetic response!

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  6. Nico, these are great. I can picture them both so well from your well chosen words.

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    1. Thanks Mary, there are wonderful things in the smallest drop.

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  7. Very lovely image, I can see the rain falling, breaking into a thousand tiny worlds ~

    Grace

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    1. Thanks Grace, I'm glad you see it too.

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  8. Wonderful images... all those tiny worlds, it's delightful.

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    1. Thanks Di--reflections are strange things, caught between the real and not-real.

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  9. Very pretty - the symmetry of nature - the mitosis of raindrops - quite wonderful. k.

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    1. Thanks Karin--a few weeks ago I read an article about the fellow who discovered (or at least mathematically described) fractals. I think that had some influence on my submission.

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  10. wow...and not just because I have a thing for magnolias. such a beautiful image, especially that second lune.

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    1. Thanks RMP--another vote for magnolias!

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    1. Thanks Marousia, I'm glad you liked it.

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  12. This is absolutely beautiful, I love the way that the first lune stanza pours its words through the caesura onto the second lune stanza, becoming the self-metaphor for the droplet.

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  13. And so the myriad of beings came into existence

    0r so that poem felt like the beginning of an oriental creation myth!

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    1. Maybe I'll be ambitious enough to write my own genesis--might sound loony, but with the lune form it could work. Thanks Sabio!

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  14. Nico, this is just so damn beautiful! love the choice of your words... especially the 'reflected world'. brilliant.

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    1. Thanks Miriam, I'm glad you liked it.

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    1. Thanks Kim--that's just what I was hoping for.

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  16. ...wow, I am impressed with this beauty!!

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  18. Oh, this is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. So many worlds in a raindrop...

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    1. Thanks ds--"To see the world in a grain of sand." Blake.

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  19. ...i felt these... your first lune's a delicate to read but your second one volumes a lot to me of the truth... we're the tiny worlds pressed to form an entirely new world of many differences and tales... an excellent offering... smiles...

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    1. Thanks Kelvin, I really like your interpretation!

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  20. Small but powerful, exactly what was meant for the form, I am sure. Congrats.

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    1. Thanks Dave, a raindrop is small but powerful!

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