Thursday, January 3, 2013

Collom Lune: The Raindrop



Tonight at dVerse, the marvelous poet Samuel Peralta has challenged us to write either a Kelly lune or Collom lune. I chose the latter, in a two stanza form. The form is similar to haiku; however, instead of syllable count, words are counted (lines of 3-5-3). The subject is inspired by the gentle rain falling outside. Please join in--it is a fairly simple form to work with, yet it can yield powerful results. (edited to fix the spelling of Jack Collom's name!)



the raindrop falls
from the tip of the
magnolia leaf bearing

the reflected world
falls and breaks into a
thousand tiny worlds

48 comments:

  1. oh i like the image..the reflected world falling and breaking in thousand tiny worlds.. magnolias are my fav trees ..ok ...next to cherry trees...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Claudia, magnolias are great trees. A little messy, but worth it for the fragrance when in bloom. I would have stepped out to take a picture to go along with the poem, but I might melt in the rain, you know!

      Delete
  2. This is beautiful - the imagery is fabulous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tony, there's a beautiful melancholy in a gentle rain.

      Delete
  3. dang...this is really good man...love your imagery in it...the raindrop and then the shattering of the reflective world....very nice...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Brian--you have to get real close to see the tiny worlds in a drop!

      Delete
  4. I love magnolias. This is such a lovely image.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Laurie, I'm rather fond of magnolias as well!

      Delete
  5. Cool, lovely shattered image, like a thousand little diamonds falling between the blades of grass.

    Nothing but snow
    And thousands of diamonds
    In the morning glow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Frank, and thanks for the wonderful poetic response!

      Delete
  6. Nico, these are great. I can picture them both so well from your well chosen words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mary, there are wonderful things in the smallest drop.

      Delete
  7. Very lovely image, I can see the rain falling, breaking into a thousand tiny worlds ~

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wonderful images... all those tiny worlds, it's delightful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Di--reflections are strange things, caught between the real and not-real.

      Delete
  9. Very pretty - the symmetry of nature - the mitosis of raindrops - quite wonderful. k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Karin--a few weeks ago I read an article about the fellow who discovered (or at least mathematically described) fractals. I think that had some influence on my submission.

      Delete
  10. wow...and not just because I have a thing for magnolias. such a beautiful image, especially that second lune.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is absolutely beautiful, I love the way that the first lune stanza pours its words through the caesura onto the second lune stanza, becoming the self-metaphor for the droplet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. And so the myriad of beings came into existence

    0r so that poem felt like the beginning of an oriental creation myth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe I'll be ambitious enough to write my own genesis--might sound loony, but with the lune form it could work. Thanks Sabio!

      Delete
  13. Nico, this is just so damn beautiful! love the choice of your words... especially the 'reflected world'. brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Thanks Kim--that's just what I was hoping for.

      Delete
  15. ...wow, I am impressed with this beauty!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, this is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. So many worlds in a raindrop...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks ds--"To see the world in a grain of sand." Blake.

      Delete
  18. ...i felt these... your first lune's a delicate to read but your second one volumes a lot to me of the truth... we're the tiny worlds pressed to form an entirely new world of many differences and tales... an excellent offering... smiles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kelvin, I really like your interpretation!

      Delete
  19. Small but powerful, exactly what was meant for the form, I am sure. Congrats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dave, a raindrop is small but powerful!

      Delete